My Take

1. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
* That's the only reason why i never borrow from my friends.

2. Lottery is A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Why didn't you tell me. Who else is worse in maths than me?

3. Never answer an anonymous letter.
* Try sending a letter a letter to yourself.

4. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
* What wrong being a little late. So what if they admit and act 6-7 yrs late!

5. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
* Is there any vegetarian meat available? Plz send me the link...

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Add a resolution to your diary...to laugh first...no matter what!

7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
* So i never use F-word @home.

8. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
*So nuke the prayers.

9. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
* Hey, That's not your problem.

10. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
*But look at SRK, AK, Anil. Its not worse for 'em.

11. Nothing's Impossible.
*Try slamming a revolving door.

12. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
*what about rest 57.3?

13.Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
*Is reverse of this statement correct?

14. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
*I agree...

15.Don't steal. The government hates competition.
*That's why this sector is monopolized.

16.The more people I meet, the more I like my neighbor's dog.
*But the girl, you are interested in, is always an exception.

17. Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
*I know how to fish but how can i avoid work by that?


18. The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.
*Plz tell me what that big means there?

19.Life is too complicated in the morning.
* Try NityamChoorna...

20. Everyone intends to live forever.
*So far so good.